I have a friend, one that I hold dear to my heart. I met her through school, she was in one of my classes. She introduced herself to me and since then we have become really great friends. She was one I admitted a horrible challenge I was going through, in tears as I talked she just listened and from listening she helped me out. She didn't know me that well at this time and she still offered me a job (cleaning her house), so that I could help with paying the bills, one less burden. I took her up on that offer, and have been with her ever since. I have been visiting her once a week at least for the past 4 years or so.

Anyone that knows me (close) knows I hate cleaning, I grumble about it, complain about it, yell, cry, I wish someone would do it for me, I would rather be doing anything else. I don't dust, I hate dusting, my kids do that for me. Every week I always hesitate going to my friends house, I have to clean, and her house is so big...but I still go, every week for 4 years. Why, why do I go?

I go because I love her, she brings so much inspiration to my life. She is so fun to be around, and I love having our talks over bed making, and dish washing. I know we don't sit down and talk hours, but some of our short talks have made a real impact on me. I love to help her out, I love feeling as though I am a little fairy, and when they get home everything is in place and clean. I go because I know it brings her mind peace to know that her house is clean. It makes her feel relieved, and I love the reaction I get from her, her husband and her children. I have become a family member, even if it is for a day. I go because I love watching this women from a distance, live life, and be grateful for everything. I go because she teaches me.

Her family just put out a cook book, the money goes to finding a cure for breast cancer. She was diagnosed just over a year ago, and almost exactly a year ago to the day, she was having her first chemo treatment. I just sat down with one of her lovely cook books that I purchased, and was reminded of why I go to her house every week. I watched her be diagnosed, watched her loose her breasts, her hair, watched her so sick she couldn't even get up out of bed, watched her suffer. I also watched her over come these obstacles with friends and loved ones around her. She had and has a great attitude about her body, she is learning to love herself. I have watched amazing miracles come to pass while I am around her. When she called me and told me she had cancer, my first thought was I have to help her. I went for my weekly cleaning before her surgery, and made sure her house was in order. I then asked if she needed dinner for that night, or the week of her surgery. I was concerned and in our church when someone is down we get meals brought in. I offered but someone had already taken care of them, so I did what I do best, I clean. I still thought about her and prayed for her that she would be taken care of, and she was. While she going through this difficult time, I didn't mind going. I watched as someone in her neighborhood brought meals EVERYDAY. I looked at the calendar every time I was there to make sure she was covered, and ready to volunteer if she wasn't. She was covered, covered for months. I watched people come and go, watched them bring cards, cookies, gifts, hugs, and most importantly love and support. I met a lot of these kind people, watched them serve, it inspired me. I came twice a week during these times, so she could feel assured her house was taken care of, my little contribution. She inspired me, I felt like I was in the presence of greatness, her house was filled with a spirit, I felt as though I was walking on hollowed ground. So I wanted to make sure the house looked great for those kind loving people that came to visit.

When she goes through anything she always comes through, that inspires me so much. I write because I am again reminded of this when I read the cook book. I remember some dark times her family went through, I watched in the back ground and did what I do best, clean. I write because I am feeling down myself right now. My disease is in full force, and I am tired. I am tired of feeling bad, tired, aching, I am tired of everything that comes with Crohn's. I miss a lot of life, I miss my kids life, my husbands life, I miss going out with friends. I often think of my friend and her friends and sometimes wonder why I don't have friends like that. When someone asks whats wrong or how are you I tell them OK. On rare occasions I tell them I am hanging in there. When you tell someone you have Crohn's they kind of step back and say oh, I am sorry, what's that. They are not sure how to help out. It is not the best disease to explain(it's a part of life people would rather keep to themselves believe me). Then when they see you next they ask how are you. It's different with cancer, people can relate to that, everyone knows someone that has had cancer, but not everybody knows someone with Crohn's. It is a disease that you have to live with for the rest of your life, there is no cure. I am living with it. I have now found inspiration once again from my friend. I went there today, and came back feeling better. She is such an example to me. If I could only get through feeling alone (I feel this is a lonely disease). I long for friends to come and visit me, to come bring me food, call, send me cards. I am sometimes feeling my lowest, and then I go to my friends for her weekly cleaning and I feel uplifted. She reminds me to live, even though I don't feel like living. As I watch her get excited to receive these cook books, so that others can benefit, watch her help others going through horrible situations, I am inspired. I can make it through, I can overcome this. Just as she has I can too. I can still live, live the best I can, do what I can in that moment and treasure the moments I have now.

We all face challenges in our lives, and I feel as though I have had my share. I believe we are tested by the Lord, he wants to see if we are valiant as we go through our challenges. I feel down right now, and I don't have many friends but I have one. I have one that I hold dear to my heart, and even though I only have known her for a short time, I still know her. She knows me and she lets me come every week to help her so she can help me. She knows how she helps me physically, but she doesn't know how she helps me spiritually. I may not have dinners coming to my door, or calls, or letters, or friends that just stop by, but I have one friend, and I know every week I will be uplifted, and for that I am grateful for her, and for 4 more years (or longer I don't mind), I will visit her once a week, and I will look forward to it.