SomeDay...

My Dear Friend,

Do you ever 'someday' your self? Some of my somedays are; someday I will sleep, someday I will go on that walk, someday my kids won't be yelling, someday I will live in that big house, someday I'll own my own home, someday I will be out of debt, someday I'll have really close friends again, someday I will date my husband again, someday I will be reach out to others more, someday, someday, someday.....I could go on forever.

I seem to have caught the someday bug lately. I find myself sitting thinking about how it would be 'someday'. When did someday thinking take over and why, I don't know. This thought process seems to take more of a role when things aren't going my way, or I am unusually down on myself.

What happens if I keep thinking this way, well I will miss out on the now. I have a good friend that I visit every week, and I remember when one of her friends was visiting she mentioned to me that we need to love ourselves now, and so when we look back on ourselves in thirty years we won't remember ourselves as always wondering 'if only I was thinner' (this was her example). I can understand what she means, because I found a picture of myself 6 years ago and I looked quite nice, but I hated myself then, I thought I was quite heavy, when in all actuality I was thin. I wasted so much energy hating myself, when I could have used is somewhere else. So now here lately when I am somedaying myself to death, will I look back on a picture and think the same thing. I would say I hope not, but in all reality I probably will.

We humans are funny....we can change and we are given the all the tools we need by our Heavenly Father, but so many of us don't, why is that. Why is it that we all sit and think about how someday I will be better at this, or someday I will exercise, someday I will hit my goal weight. Change is hard, BELIEVE me I know, I hate change. I have never liked it, I kick and scream when it comes to changing anything. Am I willing to change my somedays? I don't know. I like to dream, I like to think about how things might turn out later in life, but how much is to much?

I don't have any answers today, but I believe I can get better. I am not going to say tomorrow I am going to NOT think about my somedays, but I can try to think less of them. I believe some somedays are good, but the way I have been obsessing about them can't be to healthy. I have realized that some of my somedays won't come. For instance I probably won't be thin like I was 6 years ago, I am older now and bodies change as you get older (sad, I wish this was different), so why worry about it, right? If I do all I know how to keep myself healthy then I have done my part. So I shouldn't sweat it right?

So I would suggest that we think about now, and love us now. Be thankful, and grateful. Love, Live, and Laugh. We aren't promised tomorrow. I know that someday I will see you again my dear friend, and we can talk about these things in person, and for me this is a good someday. Until then remember don't get to caught up in the somedays.

Love,


Oh, on my last post I mentioned to my friend R about some goals, I have an update. I did make some things for my friends on Valentines day, and I have to say it was the best V day ever. I served others spent time thinking of others and not of the loss that I faced one V day prior, and it was nice. I still remember, I will never forget the loss, but it was nice serving others and letting them know they are loved by me.

On the letter writing, not yet. I got some really great stationary, and do plan on writing, it is still a GOAL. I will accomplish this I will.