Before I start with my next post I just wanted to leave an update:

First: I remember saying I had a good day last time, well the next day not so much. EK and MA were both trying my patience. EK decided she would do anything to make my life miserable, including stomping on my foot in the grocery line (I forgot to get some potatoes in my last grocery stop, how dumb I will NOT do that again). By the end of the day I had banned all children from going to the store with me. HAHA Good thing they are in school during the day, I don't think I could shop at midnight. So my advise be thankful for your good day, who knows when it will happen again.

I wrote this on Tuesday:

Today I have been thinking a lot about society and the way we perceive the way people look and often judge them on their looks. In our society (I believe) people think that looking younger is the way to go. Everywhere you are you see advertisements for breast augmentation, liposuction, botox. I just received a coupon in the mail for a discount on botox. My question is why? I know that no one can probably answer that, but why do we always want to look so young? It's funny because when we are younger we always want to be or look older, and when we become older we want to look young. Why are we so eager to get rid of the wrinkles that time put on our faces? Why are we so afraid of looking older? Now that I am getting older I often think of these things (silly I know), So when I started to discover wrinkles on my face the first thought was I need to get rid of them. I went and bought some facial creme, thought about other ways that I can fill them in or get rid of them all together, then I stopped myself in this new obsession I had and thought, why? One of the biggest challenges that I am facing right now is my looks and accepting them for what they are. With my illness I am on several different medicines that make you gain weight. So my looks are always on my mind, worried that if I don't fit into a certain size or look a certain way then I am worthless (once again silly I know). The more I thought about it and discussed it with my friend, I came to a realization. I need to love my wrinkles (as much as I could) and embrace them along with everything else about my body. That is so hard to do in the society, but hey I am willing to try. Now how can I think positively about my wrinkle situation? Well this is what I came with. I can think of my wrinkles as badges of honor (sort to speak).

One of my wrinkles could be from the babies I lost, and the sadness it brought to my life, and how I over came that with the incredible love from my Heavenly Father, and the love of my family, and friends. Another wrinkle could represent watching my friend suffer through cancer, and worrying about her family and herself, watching her go through major body changes, but then triumphing over cancer and seeing her smile again, and teach me that looks AREN'T everything. I could go on, but I think you might understand.

With each wrinkle I believe could be a triumph. I am not very good at seeing the good in everything, but I have to say I am trying to be better at it. I am not anywhere near being a perfect thinker, or perfect for that matter. Sometimes I come up with some brilliant ideas, but not that often. Next time I look in the mirror maybe (and I mean maybe) I'll remember this and be glad that I have acquired these wrinkles on my face.

Until Next Time,
MAE